Parenting

I did not plan out having a family this way. I originally thought I would have a big home, and a garden. I used to dream about having a bunch of kids, and homeschooling them all. OK so I have a wonderful home, it is just quaint. I also was lucky enough to stay home with my daughter for three years, and began to go to school again. I still get to homeschool, but not for my daughters entire schooling career.

Parenting for me is not quite what I had planned. I have done my best to make it as well as I can, and really it is not bad at all. I mostly had to just accept that things change, and that is Ok.

I often am inspired by a good meme. I love to keep them for struggling moments, and so I will post one of my favorites. 

 

Frustration

I took my preschool age daughter on a nice walk so she could get some execise, and I am guilty of being frustrated for no good reason. I had this notion in my head that the walk had to be brisk, and we had to hurry to our destination. My daughter was not on the same page as me, and in true preschooler fashion she wanted to examine everything. I kept trying to hurry her, and just felt more frustrated when she resisted. I rushed her at the park and soon was pushing her to rush back home. I thought of how I rushed her, and felt pretty bad about it. One aspect of my life i am trying to improve is being a patient parent. I am far from perfect when it comes to being a parent, and I stumble on my old ways often.

I decided to make it up to my daughter and let her run the next walk. She got on a kick of looking at every single tree on the way, and I enjoyed it. I just had to remind myself that this was the reason for the walk, to explore, not to get from A to B. I was happy to hear my daughter say kindly "I really liked that walk." I did too!

introvert raising extrovert

I am an introvert. Being an introvert has long been associated with anti-social behavior, but this isn't the truth. Homebody is a common term that is considered kinder, but doesn't show the whole picture. An introvert derives energy from themselves, or from being with one or two close friends. This is the place an introvert feels most comfortable. However, this does not mean we aren't amazing leaders,and often when in those positions we shine. I used to not fully understand introversion, and didn't properly care for myself. I often thought I had to be social with many people or i was just a loser. I not only had to imporve my self talk, but I also had to understand what I needed as an introvert. I could get very technical, but in short introverts are private and often quiet. We also tend to enjoy our solitude, and especially after many hours interacting with a lot people. 

Extroverts are quite the opposite, and rather seek out interaction with many people. It is not that extrovert are far more open, but they often will speak their ideas out loud. To keep an extrovert happy you must allow them to speak, and let them feel approciated in the spotlight. They often keep busy with tasks and poeple, and so they can get energy for the times of being alone. An extrovert loves to have a friend with them for just about anything, and if they don't have one to talk with they will call someone or chat with people around them. 

I am an intorvert, and while my daughter is still pretty young, I am pretty sure she is an extrovert. At around two months she began to coo like most babies, but she was doing it non-stop. When she first learned hi, she screamed it at everyone she saw,p and when she began to talk she took maticulous steps to say the word correctly. I understand that some of these things happen to be other aspects of culture, but overall I saw a strong will to communicate with everyone around her. As she gets older she often speaks her ideas out loud. 

I did attempt to make sure she had people to interact with, but while it is envigorating for her, it was tiring for me. I thought at first I would be able to take her to play groups constantly, and get her a brigade of friends. This didn't work out how I planned. I am very glad to say that having her has really taken me on many pleasant journey's. 

Raising an extrovert has been a challenge, but I love a challenge!

are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Resource

I have been using books as a major resource for learning how to use communication skills effectively. I love to browse my local used book store for any interesting titles or books I may have heard about. I was lucky enough to find a wonderful book called "Verbal Judo, the gentle art of persuasion". I had some reccollection of the name from somewhere I couldn't recall, but it was a great price, so I bought it. I haven't been able to stop reading it, and quite frankly it is one of the best books I have read. It is incredibly helpful, and I have many moments of clarity as I read. 

I found one chapter to be my "aha" moment, it is about phrases that should not be said. I am guilty of using these phrases often in my life, and am glad to now be able to rid myself of them. Th book discusses eleven phrases that you never should say to anyone, and I am not going to tell you all of them, but will enlighten you to the ones I use.

The first one is "you wouldn't understand." It is insulting to the person, and instead I could use a better phras like, "let me try to explain this...". The second phrase I use is "calm down" it is simply a criticism of the other persons behavior. Rather I dhould be reassuring, and tell them I am doing what I can to help the situation. My third abusive phrase is when I say things like "You always....." or "You never....." These are often not true and cause me to seem very unreasonable, and it does not help the problem. 

I am filled with joy that i found this book and I highly reccommend it to anyone!

Meeting a Goal

I was very timid the other day about taking my weight. I am not one who tries to put much emphasizes on an exact weight, but I had felt like some had come off of me, so I decided to see what it was. At first I went directly to the weight that I have always been, but surpirisngly enough it kept soliding furthur to the left, and lo and behold I have lost 20 pounds! I was shocked and very excited. I have been working very hard and lost weight, not just met a fitness goal. I had taken a before picture and because I was feeling good I took another after pocture. I am not an expertn these photos, and so it is hard to see all the weight I lost, but it does show a difference.

Homeschool

I have enjoyed teaching my daughter, and I always let her decide what she wants to learn. She decided to write some words and it was very cute and I was proud to see her want to write!

Fear

I have lived with many fears, and they have held me back. I am glad that I have th oppertunity to change my behaviors. This is huge when it comes to fear. I have so many times chosen to hold back because of fear. Whether it was speaking up for myself, or choosing my own path freely. I have been so agreeable that I let others chose for me, and that is not wise. It is not easy to change this and to face my fears, but I must press forward and feel my fear. I have read an amazing book by author Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway". It seems as if it was written for me! I was struggling to put it down, and was very sad that I had to return it to the library. It has changed my view on fear and how one should react to it.

How to be Conscious

Part of my mission in life is to be concious of my mind and body. I onoly get the privilage of having one and so I must treat it will respect. These ar my ways of being concious.

Be aware if my body and listen to its cues. This means spending time de-stressing and meditating to keep focused on what is happening to my body.

Avoid food with little or no nutrition. i shoukd make the choice to not fill my body with junk, and fuel it with healthy, whole foods.

Use positive self talk. I am a victim of my chatterbox and have spent too many days listening to myself speak negatively of me. I need to speak to myself in a hood manner. When my self talk turns negative I need to change it and tell myself positive things.

Stop holding on to things I cannot change. I only harm myself when I harbor bad feeling about anything, and this is never a healthy practice. I will not hold onto useless pain!

Practice is the key here. I am learning everyday and changing my habits for the better, and this is the best part of it all.

Habits

I have been attempting to incorperate the seven habits into my daily life. The first three habits are in the personal victory catagory, and they are being proactive, begin with the end in mind, and put first things first. In order to combine all three a good habit to form is setting goals, and setting them for every area of my life. Everyone has different priorities but mine are these, personal, parent,nstudent, spouse, leader, friend. In these areas I set one or two goals that I am capable of accomplishing in the next week. I have been practicing this combination of the first three habits, and it really helps my growth, and in every area!

One of the most important lessons I have learned from this part of Stephen Covey's book is that I must have intrinsic security, and this is what a personal victory is.