Resource

I have been using books as a major resource for learning how to use communication skills effectively. I love to browse my local used book store for any interesting titles or books I may have heard about. I was lucky enough to find a wonderful book called "Verbal Judo, the gentle art of persuasion". I had some reccollection of the name from somewhere I couldn't recall, but it was a great price, so I bought it. I haven't been able to stop reading it, and quite frankly it is one of the best books I have read. It is incredibly helpful, and I have many moments of clarity as I read. 

I found one chapter to be my "aha" moment, it is about phrases that should not be said. I am guilty of using these phrases often in my life, and am glad to now be able to rid myself of them. Th book discusses eleven phrases that you never should say to anyone, and I am not going to tell you all of them, but will enlighten you to the ones I use.

The first one is "you wouldn't understand." It is insulting to the person, and instead I could use a better phras like, "let me try to explain this...". The second phrase I use is "calm down" it is simply a criticism of the other persons behavior. Rather I dhould be reassuring, and tell them I am doing what I can to help the situation. My third abusive phrase is when I say things like "You always....." or "You never....." These are often not true and cause me to seem very unreasonable, and it does not help the problem. 

I am filled with joy that i found this book and I highly reccommend it to anyone!