Inspiring Myself

It is essential to inspire myself. I often search for inspiration on the internet, because of its vast array of information. I love positive quotes, and beautiful images. I am going to share meme's on my blog, because they inspire me. I can be cheesy, as some say, but I really do love a good inspiring meme. Here is one of many that I love and i hope you can enjoy it too.

Recent Read

I am in a constant search for a good book, and any time I hear a person mention a good one I write it down and try to finid it! I recently have been reading another book that relates to gender, it is called "You Just Don't Understand" by Deborah Tannen. I enjoy the style of this book, it is not preaching to anyone, and is mostly about observing the differences in how men and women communicate. I really have been enjoying this book and reccommend it.

Communication

Communication is an essential part of life. I did not realize how much I would enjoy learning about it. I started taking classes at my community college, and plan on getting my degree. I was fortunate enough to find a really amazing teacher, and took some great classes. I was absorbing everything I could from these classes, and found that I could earn certificates from obtaining a certain amount of credits from specific classes. I decided to earn all of the certificates, and it has vastly improved my life. I am extremely happy I have taken these classes. I also am a bit sad, because this coming autumn is my last communication class. I will relishe it, and am sure I will always take workshops and keep improving this incalculable skill.

Parenting

I did not plan out having a family this way. I originally thought I would have a big home, and a garden. I used to dream about having a bunch of kids, and homeschooling them all. OK so I have a wonderful home, it is just quaint. I also was lucky enough to stay home with my daughter for three years, and began to go to school again. I still get to homeschool, but not for my daughters entire schooling career.

Parenting for me is not quite what I had planned. I have done my best to make it as well as I can, and really it is not bad at all. I mostly had to just accept that things change, and that is Ok.

I often am inspired by a good meme. I love to keep them for struggling moments, and so I will post one of my favorites. 

 

Frustration

I took my preschool age daughter on a nice walk so she could get some execise, and I am guilty of being frustrated for no good reason. I had this notion in my head that the walk had to be brisk, and we had to hurry to our destination. My daughter was not on the same page as me, and in true preschooler fashion she wanted to examine everything. I kept trying to hurry her, and just felt more frustrated when she resisted. I rushed her at the park and soon was pushing her to rush back home. I thought of how I rushed her, and felt pretty bad about it. One aspect of my life i am trying to improve is being a patient parent. I am far from perfect when it comes to being a parent, and I stumble on my old ways often.

I decided to make it up to my daughter and let her run the next walk. She got on a kick of looking at every single tree on the way, and I enjoyed it. I just had to remind myself that this was the reason for the walk, to explore, not to get from A to B. I was happy to hear my daughter say kindly "I really liked that walk." I did too!

introvert raising extrovert

I am an introvert. Being an introvert has long been associated with anti-social behavior, but this isn't the truth. Homebody is a common term that is considered kinder, but doesn't show the whole picture. An introvert derives energy from themselves, or from being with one or two close friends. This is the place an introvert feels most comfortable. However, this does not mean we aren't amazing leaders,and often when in those positions we shine. I used to not fully understand introversion, and didn't properly care for myself. I often thought I had to be social with many people or i was just a loser. I not only had to imporve my self talk, but I also had to understand what I needed as an introvert. I could get very technical, but in short introverts are private and often quiet. We also tend to enjoy our solitude, and especially after many hours interacting with a lot people. 

Extroverts are quite the opposite, and rather seek out interaction with many people. It is not that extrovert are far more open, but they often will speak their ideas out loud. To keep an extrovert happy you must allow them to speak, and let them feel approciated in the spotlight. They often keep busy with tasks and poeple, and so they can get energy for the times of being alone. An extrovert loves to have a friend with them for just about anything, and if they don't have one to talk with they will call someone or chat with people around them. 

I am an intorvert, and while my daughter is still pretty young, I am pretty sure she is an extrovert. At around two months she began to coo like most babies, but she was doing it non-stop. When she first learned hi, she screamed it at everyone she saw,p and when she began to talk she took maticulous steps to say the word correctly. I understand that some of these things happen to be other aspects of culture, but overall I saw a strong will to communicate with everyone around her. As she gets older she often speaks her ideas out loud. 

I did attempt to make sure she had people to interact with, but while it is envigorating for her, it was tiring for me. I thought at first I would be able to take her to play groups constantly, and get her a brigade of friends. This didn't work out how I planned. I am very glad to say that having her has really taken me on many pleasant journey's. 

Raising an extrovert has been a challenge, but I love a challenge!

are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Resource

I have been using books as a major resource for learning how to use communication skills effectively. I love to browse my local used book store for any interesting titles or books I may have heard about. I was lucky enough to find a wonderful book called "Verbal Judo, the gentle art of persuasion". I had some reccollection of the name from somewhere I couldn't recall, but it was a great price, so I bought it. I haven't been able to stop reading it, and quite frankly it is one of the best books I have read. It is incredibly helpful, and I have many moments of clarity as I read. 

I found one chapter to be my "aha" moment, it is about phrases that should not be said. I am guilty of using these phrases often in my life, and am glad to now be able to rid myself of them. Th book discusses eleven phrases that you never should say to anyone, and I am not going to tell you all of them, but will enlighten you to the ones I use.

The first one is "you wouldn't understand." It is insulting to the person, and instead I could use a better phras like, "let me try to explain this...". The second phrase I use is "calm down" it is simply a criticism of the other persons behavior. Rather I dhould be reassuring, and tell them I am doing what I can to help the situation. My third abusive phrase is when I say things like "You always....." or "You never....." These are often not true and cause me to seem very unreasonable, and it does not help the problem. 

I am filled with joy that i found this book and I highly reccommend it to anyone!

Meeting a Goal

I was very timid the other day about taking my weight. I am not one who tries to put much emphasizes on an exact weight, but I had felt like some had come off of me, so I decided to see what it was. At first I went directly to the weight that I have always been, but surpirisngly enough it kept soliding furthur to the left, and lo and behold I have lost 20 pounds! I was shocked and very excited. I have been working very hard and lost weight, not just met a fitness goal. I had taken a before picture and because I was feeling good I took another after pocture. I am not an expertn these photos, and so it is hard to see all the weight I lost, but it does show a difference.

Homeschool

I have enjoyed teaching my daughter, and I always let her decide what she wants to learn. She decided to write some words and it was very cute and I was proud to see her want to write!

Fear

I have lived with many fears, and they have held me back. I am glad that I have th oppertunity to change my behaviors. This is huge when it comes to fear. I have so many times chosen to hold back because of fear. Whether it was speaking up for myself, or choosing my own path freely. I have been so agreeable that I let others chose for me, and that is not wise. It is not easy to change this and to face my fears, but I must press forward and feel my fear. I have read an amazing book by author Susan Jeffers called "Feel the Fear and do it Anyway". It seems as if it was written for me! I was struggling to put it down, and was very sad that I had to return it to the library. It has changed my view on fear and how one should react to it.

How to be Conscious

Part of my mission in life is to be concious of my mind and body. I onoly get the privilage of having one and so I must treat it will respect. These ar my ways of being concious.

Be aware if my body and listen to its cues. This means spending time de-stressing and meditating to keep focused on what is happening to my body.

Avoid food with little or no nutrition. i shoukd make the choice to not fill my body with junk, and fuel it with healthy, whole foods.

Use positive self talk. I am a victim of my chatterbox and have spent too many days listening to myself speak negatively of me. I need to speak to myself in a hood manner. When my self talk turns negative I need to change it and tell myself positive things.

Stop holding on to things I cannot change. I only harm myself when I harbor bad feeling about anything, and this is never a healthy practice. I will not hold onto useless pain!

Practice is the key here. I am learning everyday and changing my habits for the better, and this is the best part of it all.

Habits

I have been attempting to incorperate the seven habits into my daily life. The first three habits are in the personal victory catagory, and they are being proactive, begin with the end in mind, and put first things first. In order to combine all three a good habit to form is setting goals, and setting them for every area of my life. Everyone has different priorities but mine are these, personal, parent,nstudent, spouse, leader, friend. In these areas I set one or two goals that I am capable of accomplishing in the next week. I have been practicing this combination of the first three habits, and it really helps my growth, and in every area!

One of the most important lessons I have learned from this part of Stephen Covey's book is that I must have intrinsic security, and this is what a personal victory is.

Problems

Losing Weight

One of my missions in life is to be conscious of my body, and being a healthy weight is important for that. I have carried a bit of extra weight around most of my teen and adult life, and lately have not been OK with it. I decided to be proactive and make some changes, one being to lose a bit of weight. I found that exercise is somethign i enjoy in moderation, and if i want to be fit I need to exercise vigorously. I have begun the exercise part by visiting the gym four or more times a week. I also made a fitness goal of running three miles, and it has been tough so far. I am half way there with my fitness goal. 

My weight has dropped from adding in exercise regularly, but I know I need to change some eating habits as well. I decided to try a calorie counting app, and I have been loyal to it for the past three weeks, and boy it has really helped. Seeing what I eat and how much each item is worth in calories made me make much better choices. It has been going really well the last week, and I have been reaching my goal!

I have felt much better about acheieving my goals, and about my health in general. 

ignorance

How to Spread Joy

One of my missions in life is to spread joy. I want people to be happy they met me, and not happy to see me go. I know that some critics are unavoidable, but in general I want my presence to be celebrated! This is a list of ways I can spread joy everyday.

Love myself fully, this would mean I always know my own self worth no matter what the circumstances.

Use gentle communication, and the power of listening. Others feel loved when they feel listened to and understood. I will spread joy much more effectively when I speak in a gentle tone to those around me.

Be myself. I am funny and wholehearted when I am authentic. People enjoy my sense of spirit and love for life.

Be open. I am a good peson and my struggles and victories are ana inspiration to others.

Be objective. People trust and respect someone who doesn't take sides and isn't quick to judge. I am capable of seeing all aspects of an issue and opening up possibilities for problem solving.

If I continue to practice these in all areas of my life I will gain much more understanding of how to spread joy, and will be able to add more items to my list!

My Funeral

Imagining my own funeral, I hope there are many mourners, people who have loved me and have cared about me. Perhaps I have gained some recognition and have speeches

 and the place is so full that people are standing. Wow! I would be dead, but to have that impact in a positive way would be exactly what I want with my life. This is how you can begin with the end in mind which is the second habit in the "Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It places my goals into focus, and does away with petty everyday nonsense. Although it is hard to think about the fact that I am mortal, I need to know what I am ready to build, and pass down to my children.

My Resource

I absolutely love books. I have been a reader since I was young. I have found that there are a lot of fantastic self help books that are out there. I have been reading as many as my brain can handle, and it has been life changing. I haven't always loved self help books. When I was about 15 I skimmed through "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" By John Grey, but I recall thinking how irrelevant it was to my life. I was given a copy of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" By Stephen Covey by a sister, but never read it. I am dissapointed I didn't read those books and apply thme more effectively to my life. However I am so glad I am doing it now.

Since I really missed out with the "Habits" book, that is the first book I will discuss. However now that I am an adult I am reading "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. This is the first of many posts that will discuss ideas from his amazing book that I am attempting to establish as my own habits. 

The first habit in the book is "Be Proactive". 

Being a proactive person wasn't in my nature, but i am changing this habit. I used to be a reactive person, and my language showed this immensly. I said things like "I can't" or often placed blame on others "It was their fault". These are not proactive. I need to change my language and take more personal responsibility. "I can control my own feeling" "I choose" "I prefer". The best way for this to be planted firmly in my memory, is to place reminders all around me. I write it on my white board, and sticky notes on my mirrors, and fridge. 

Another important aspect of being a proactive person is to let go of things you can't control. Stephen calls this our circle of concern and the things which we have control over is our circle of influence. When we become more proactive these circles interlace and become almost as one, and our concerns become our influence. The things we cannot control can consume our life and stress us out. I was one that allowed my circles to have to large a discrepancy between them, and this caused me undue anxiety. I honestly have been amazed at how relaxed I feel about everything, now that my circles aren't so far apart!

If you haven't read "The Seven Habits if Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey you should consider adding it to your list of books to read, because it is well worth it!

Plant your roots

A few days ago, my daughter and I were enjoying a day at our park, and they had many entertainers for everyone to enjoy. We were at a nice grassy knoll and a troop of japanese drummers began to play. It was wonderful to listen to and also to watch. After the man who runs the troop was showing groups of children, and adults, how to play. He explained that you must first plant your feet firmly on the ground, and put in your roots. I loved that this is how you must begin, and it applies so well in life. You must have your footing solid before attempting anything new. I really loved seeing my daughter follow his instructions and use his technique to bang on the drums. It was an amazing experince.

if you are interested here is a video with some talented drummers.

http://youtu.be/rV6z8g54lb4

What?

The point of this blog is to continue to affirm my direction. my new direction in life is one of a positive mentality, and self care. I have to spend every day keeping my thoughts focused on the direction I am heading, and not fall into my old negative habits. I can easily backslide, and if I do I will keep a positive mindset.

This blog is a way to keep track of everything that I find, read, and work on during the journey i just have begun. I will be focused on making myself a better human in this world. I can be kind and loving to myself and all those around me.

This blog is mainly about my positive changes that I am making, but since I love a good dose of humor, and am also working on exercise, it will include those aspects as well.

creating my mission statement

Mission Statement:

My mission in life is to spread joy wherever I go. I want people to be glad they met me. I want people to be moved and changed for a greater purpose.

My mission in life is too be conscious of my mind and body. I only get one of me and should treat myself with respect and love.

My mission in life is too connect with those closest to me. I need these connections to create a community, and will only make this possible if I understand others and am not judgemental of them.

My mission in life is too help many people gain a better understanding of food and how it relates to their health. Especially when it comes to infants and new mothers.

My mission in life is to counsel and ease mental stress. I am very capable of helping others and when it comes to kindness I can inspire.

This is still a new draft and will be worked on continually!